march madness

8:25 am: [walking from my car to my office] “Hssssssssssssss!!  Watch out, she’s the white devil!!”

10:05 am: [walking to the store] “Look out folks!  We’ve got a live one!  You know what I always say, don’t trust the pretty ones, she’s bound to burn ya!”

11:15: [in my office]

Mr. F: Miss R., we need to find you a man with a library card.

Me: A library card?  Why?  What about a job or driver’s license — why would he need a library card?

Mr. F:  See, this is what I am talking about — I am trying to reset the bar  for you, as you clearly have made it too high.

Me: Okay fine, but still, I’d prefer someone with a driver’s license at least, even if he is unemployed.

Mr. F: [sighing] Let’s just start with a library card, okay?  Baby steps, Miss R., baby steps.

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