This afternoon I had a meeting consisting of Miss M, her In Home Supportive Services Social Worker and myself. I introduced myself when I first walked in and we began the meeting. About halfway through the meeting the worker said, “I thought I was meeting with Miss R this afternoon.”
Me: You are, I am Miss R, the one you spoke to (and hung up on once, mind you) on the phone.
Social Worker: No you’re not, the woman I talked to is Mexican.
Me: No, no, she isn’t, I am Miss R and I am primarily German.
Miss M: You’re German?! No wonder I am scared of you! You people are craaazzaaayyyy!
Me: I am also half Jewish and a quarter Danish.
Miss M: Oh well, okay, I can work with that. I mean, you are part Jewish, so you know what it means to be oppressed and Danish, well that’s just kind of neutral. So if German was a minus sign, Jewish was a plus sign and Danish was an equal sign, it’d all just come out even.
(at the point the IHSS worker simply sat there quietly with a constipated look on his face – half grimace/half grin)
Me: So you mean like protons, electrons and neutrons?
Miss M: Tron what??!! Lady, you crazy, this isn’t chemistry class! Let’s get back to this meeting.
Social Worker: You are sure you are not Mexican at all, Miss R.? You know, there are some blonde Mexicans. It’s okay if you’re not, I just really like Mexicans. I like Germans too. My girlfriend is German. She’s nice. You look German.
At which point Miss M. loudly laughed, sighed, stood up and said, “We don’t want to hear about your girlfriend! Let’s just go take a look at my room, okay?!”
And with that, we all nodded and walked out of the room.